So, here I am in Mexico City... and I feel like I have so much to say. But right now I'll be brief and will probably update more later tonight or tomorrow. I start my thesis research tomorrow, which is exciting and nerve-wracking all at the same time. A few of you caught me in my nervous breakdown/hyperventilation stage on Friday evening, right before I left. The guy I'm working with is very nice, but kind of intense, so it intimidates me. But now I feel like I have a plan, so that helps.
Just a side note though: this whole thing has reminded me of my hidden complex, that only rears its ugly head at crucial times in my life, like NOW. Failure. Silly, actually, since I'm not sure I've seriously failed at anything in life (other than things like soccer or diving etc. etc.). Yet I still have this completely irrational fear of failure that overtakes me, paralyzes me, and makes me doubt everything - I can't even explain it. Except that on Friday I was sure this was the worst idea ever and that I am sure to make a complete fool of myself and I will never go anywhere in the career I have chosen blah blah blah.
So, all that means is I'm excited to have tomorrow over with, because once I get into my research I'm pretty sure that I will feel fine. :)
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Kim, take a deep breath. I'm sure you'll find some interesting things in your research. Remember that the intense guy knows you are a student, so you don't have to be the next mental health Einstein. That said, you are an excellent problem-solver, so I'm sure you'll get some valuable work done. Try to enjoy the experience, and keep your paper bag nearby for emergencies.
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